Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Seasonal “24” Ulcer - Pt. 5 (recap) Pt.6

It has been brought to my attention that there was no 24 update last week, and for that, I apologize. It is completely my fault, and I hope that none of you had to suffer the embarrassment of standing silently at the water cooler last week, unable to contribute to the conversation.For those who are interested, here is a quick update of what happened last week, on the episode that I have been referring to as “The Idiot Hour”. Lynne McGill (aka. Samwise): the idiot who got his pass card stolen by his junkie sister, and then never reported it. Walt Cummings: the idiot who betrayed his country, defended his actions as patriotism until he was blue in the face (literally!), and then cowardly killed himself. And CTU: the group of idiots who left the 15 year old hostage alone for five minutes, even though she was clearly upset, giving her ample opportunity to find a gun and kill their only lead to the terrorists. Perfect. All caught up? On to this week…

Jack mentions that CTU catches a break when Ivan (the lead terrorist guy - who I’ve seen in an X-Files episode I’m sure of it!) calls Jacob (the perv who was holding the 15 year old hostage - and recently stared in the PHENONMENAL Carnivale), and when Jack answers the phone tells him the secret meeting spot. Perhaps you terrorists should have a code word in case, say, your mistress, butler, 5 year old son, or the freakin’ government answers the phone, you don’t reveal all your secrets to CTU by mistake. I’d say this was a HUGE, inconceivable break for them. But I digress, Jack probably would have been able to use his ESP to figure out where they were, but this will be faster. Jack quickly offers to go undercover, and Curtis offers to have his back. Even though Jack didn’t have his in the past hour. Remember when you were shot Curtis?! Remember?! Who had your back then?
On to the dickless, hopeless, spineless, sack of monkey crap of a President. Novak suggests covering up the Cummings betrayal in order to save some face and the President doesn’t know what to do.
CTU calls asking the President his orders about allowing the release of the toxic gas in the mall (I had to agree with Audrey on this one - none of this “greater good“ crap for me), and he doesn’t know what to do. He tells his wife to break the news to Suzanne Cummings about her husband’s suicide, and when the First Lady can’t, he doesn’t know what to do, or say to her. Do you see a pattern? I hate this guy. Plain and simple. And by the way, since when do you send a effing crazy person to break that kind of news? Just an hour ago the First Lady was in a car off to the loony bin. I think that is a very dramatic and impressive turn around. I love her. Did you see when Jack decided to save the day anyway? And then killed that terrorist by crushing his windpipe with his thighs! That was hot. Very hot. And then in the next five minutes, to counterbalance his violent tendencies, he saves the cute little kid and made my cold and bitter heart melt. To make up for this gooey behavior, Jack will kill at least three people next week. Count on it!Tune in next week, when the CTU team manages to track down the terrorists, even though “Ivan is gone! The canisters are gone!”, and there are no logical leads. Looks like we’ll have to access Jack’s telepathy after all.


Blogger Sassafrass said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:03 PM  
Anonymous lil-sass said...

Sassafrass you are a comical genius... Where you come up with this hilarity I do not know. Keep up the fantastic work so that I have some footsteps to follow in.

5:45 PM  
Anonymous Gus Chiggins said...

This post makes me realize just how much i miss your blog, good ish. i wish i had a brotha like curtis on my back, stand up guy

7:54 PM  

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