Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Seasonal “24” Ulcer - Part 4

The theme of this week’s episode is “Love and Other Gobbledy Gook”, due to the overwhelming correlation between the amount of women near tears, and the amount of bile that built up in the back of my throat.
About five minutes into the episode I was thrown a curve ball when Reddie (my nickname for the trailer park girlfriend) alerts Jack of her impending release, followed quickly by her need to know if he will be coming back to her. Long story short, he doesn’t know lady. He’s Jack freakin’ Bauer. He has terrorists to fight, and it might take all day. Sheesh. Follow up this heartwarming scene with a frantic phone call, to Jack, from Audrey just seconds before he is to meet with Mike Novak to discuss matters of national security! For crying out loud lady, you have some wicked-ass bad timing. Like Jack has nothing else to think about besides whether or not he’s interested in boning you after this is all said and done. But, we managed to discover that yes, Jack still loves her. He never stopped loving her. Not for one minute. Barf. On the bright side, this of course means that Audrey will eventually die. Everyone that Jack loves dies. Did you see Season One? Maybe Nina will rise from the dead to do it.
On to the Gobbledy Gook: Oh dear President Logan, have people been making big decisions without you? I mean, just three hours ago I seem to recall you shouting “I don’t care how, just fix it!” and here we are, three hours later, and Cummings has thoughtfully figured out a way to frame a middle eastern country for having weapons of mass destruction, and all you can do is piss and cry about it. This is what scares the Hell out of me about Americans on TV - this idea of the greater good theme that plays out in so many movies and television shows. Sure some people had to die, collateral damage as they were referred to, but if you’re intentions were to help the country, well Hell, I guess you ARE a Patriot. Good thing the plan didn’t backfire and now the terrorist you thought was helping you is really killing all your “inside men” and taking off with several canisters of Military Grade Nerve Gas. Oh wait… shit…
Is anyone else frustrated by the President’s lack of a spine? How does this man stand up? Good thing Jack was there to tell him what’s what, and now it looks like this President (who has been behaving like a snotty nosed ten year old) will finally make some good decisions. Otherwise, Jack will have to cut his eyes out.
And to round out the hour, the love theme returns when Logan tried to apologize to the First Lady. I’m glad she presented him with her cheek. Wrong cheek in my opinion, but we know the subtext of that action. I felt like she should have had a line as she walked back into the White House, “Mamma’s home!”

~ Sassafrass


Anonymous Gus Chiggins said...

jack s soft side is a turn on,
that voice makes me melt

8:55 PM  
Anonymous Sassafrass said...

Those in the advance class of 24 might enjoy: http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty

12:20 AM  
Anonymous Fact-o the Opinionator said...

Jack can make love to his lady while torturing suspects and meeting with the highest officials of the land, and still be completely on point in all three regards . . . . that's why he's Jack Bauer.

11:41 AM  
Blogger FrankSteel said...

My favourites:

Jack Bauer sits down to pee.

Jack Bauer does not sleep. He passes out after two wine coolers.

9:28 AM  
Anonymous Sassafrass said...

Those are some mighty big accusations Frank. You wanna fight? Don't make me find a pair of spare scissors.

7:41 PM  

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