In two days time I will be heading out to the mountains for my annual Mountain Christmas/New Years Celebration! Now it’s usually a solitary affair but this year my beautiful girlfriend will be joining me, so I’m heading out a day early to get the igloo set up and comfortable before I send up the smoke signals for Elsbeth to find me.
Here I am in the middle of building my igloo last year:
As a special surprise for her I’m planning on hunting down a polar bear along the way, so that I can line the igloo with it’s fur, and use the rest of it for food while we’re out there. I’m also going to decorate a nearby tree with some festive squirrel balls that I sewed together myself.
So for all you hunters out there who are wishing to do something romantic like this for your gal, here’s how to hunt a polar bear. Now, like myself, the polar bears are generally solitary animals, which will work to our advantage because it means you’ll only be dealing with one bear at a time. I plan on taking down the bear with my LanTec SFM6 Anti-Personnel Dart Gun. I’m gonna use this gun for 2 reasons, the first because I plan on using the fur in my igloo later on and a dart gun will cause less damage than a bullet and secondly because this gun will give me a precise shot from 200 feet away and keeping your distance from polar bears is important. Especially because I won’t be able to bring along my bear suit with me, since I’ll be traveling some distance.
However, I’d also suggest bringing along another high powered rifle, in case of an unexpected bear attack. My personal favourite for this type of thing is the Bushmaster Carbon 15 Rifle, this’ll blast a hole right through the bear’s head. I’d also suggest bringing a bear trap or two and maybe some nets, in case you’re lucky enough the find a commonly used bear trail, in which case you can trap the bear while you spend more time working on your igloo.
Now once you’ve hit the polar bear with the tranquilizer dart you’ll want to get to it as soon as it goes down. At this point, I like to make a precise cut with my hunting knife across the bear’s throat to kill it and to drain the blood without getting it all over the fur. Then it’s just a matter of dragging it back to camp, hoisting it up in a tree and skinning it.
And for the New Year's Eve finale to our romantic holiday getaway, I’m bringing some peyote for a Tarahumara Indian Peyote ceremony during which Elsbeth and I will beat our drums, drink the peyote, roast some marshmallows and dance until we receive visions of what next year will bring us. It should be great.
Have a happy holiday!
I apologize for the brief posts this week, it's nice to be away from the computer. Here is another very interesting ensemble hailing from Montreal, floating around the opposite end of the spectrum from the huge sound of Arcade Fire. The Unicorns could be described as minimalist, experimental, abstract, but that really doesn't do them justice. First, their songs are infused with tons of emotion, whether happy or sad. Second, they are pretty groovy and catchy. Third, they have this instrument which is somewhere between an Atari and an organ.
