The Urban Hunter: Special Edition

I feel it is my duty today to warn all of my loyal readers of a serious issue with the squirrel population.

I was out practicing my squirrel fishing technique with some fresh macadamia nuts and my S&W Magnum when the fishing line I was using snapped back at me after being sliced in half. Not only had it been cut but it was smoking… it was then that I knew I wasn’t just dealing with squirrels anymore. So I decided to get out of there and get to the safety of some underbrush. From there I was hidden from the squirrels but still close enough that I could observe them and find out what was going on.

Unfortunately I didn’t leave the house prepared for what happened next. I had only brought along my Magnum and a few Model 36 Mills Bomb Hand Grenades because I was just planning on a quiet afternoon of squirrel fishing. So after sitting in the under brush for about 5 beers time, the squirrels came down from the tree, scoped the area for a bit, and then pulled out miniature light sabers! I had never seen this before… so I whipped out my camera to take a picture before getting out of there to head home and get some more ammo.

Unfortunately, the flash went off which caused what I can only guess to be rage blackouts for the squirrels, because they turned and flew at me with their light sabers. Luckily I had brought along a few hand grenades because I was able to explode one in the air as the squirrels flew towards my head. This took care of those ones, but the explosion brought out more light saber squirrels from every tree in the park. This is when I panicked and started throwing grenades everywhere as I ran out of there. Unfortunately I didn’t make it out without first getting a few light saber slashes on my forearms. I’m not proud of my reaction, but if you were there you would understand.

Careful squirrel hunting!

Dean Hardcore